Brynna’s Recipe for Chocolate Chip Cookies
I thought I would bake some chocolate chip cookies for the Harold sign up line tomorrow morning, so here are my own special directions, in case you’re interested:
Buy a bag of Nestle’s Tollhouse Chocolate Chips. Follow the directions for chocolate chip cookies on the bag. Don’t forget to preheat the oven to 375!
Stir in 1 tsp. of love! Put those cookies in the oven, and blow them a kiss!
Realize that although the oven says 375F, it seems to mean 375C. Remove burnt cookie dough piles from oven. Tentatively taste one. Decide that your standards for cookies aren’t high enough to warrant throwing them out. Pick off burnt pieces of love left on top.
Remove milk from fridge. Look around guiltily, then take a swig from the carton. Realize that, hey, it’s your milk, why should you feel guilty about drinking from it? Think, but what if someone comes over and wants milk and cookies? Retort with yeah, right, when was the last time anyone came over? You’re a hermit, you weirdo. You spend most of your time talking to chihuahuas, and I’m pretty sure they don’t care about proper milk etiquette, since they spend most of their time urinating on your floor.
Put in second batch of cookies, putting the oven on “warm” mode in the hopes that they will cook more slowly. Think about adding 1 tsp. of love, then settle on 1/2 tsp. spite for that last batch of failure. Bake for 20 minutes. Set your timer, then realize your roommate is asleep, and panic, because the timer is loud, and it’s all the way across the apartment from where you are. Forget to jump over that puddle of dog pee in the middle of your floor. Wash shoes in sink. Realize you should have taken cookies out of the oven first. Rush back through dog mess. Burn hand on oven, and remove cookies. Saran Wrap, and ta dah!
If at a higher altitude, get lightheaded and dizzy from stress before removing cookies.
