A Man Does Not Meet His Spirit Animal
OLIVER: Whoa.
ALLIGATOR: Hello, Oliver. I’m your spirit animal.
OLIVER: Oh, wow. Really?
ALLIGATOR: Yes. I have some advice for you.
OLIVER: What is it?
ALLIGATOR: Come closer and I’ll tell you.
OLIVER: Oh, I see how it is. You’re trying to trick me.
ALLIGATOR: What do you mean?
OLIVER: You’re going to try to lure me towards the swamp and then eat me. I’ve heard about all the people disappearing in this area.
ALLIGATOR: Have people been disappearing around this pond? Yes. Is it because a talking alligator has been residing here? No.
OLIVER: Come on.
ALLIGATOR: Nope.
OLIVER: Really.
ALLIGATOR: Not me.
OLIVER: I don’t believe you.
ALLIGATOR: Well, then, here we are.
OLIVER: Yep.
ALLIGATOR: Come dance with me, Oliver. Dance with me in the moonlight.
OLIVER: How would you even dance? You have stubby legs.
ALLIGATOR: I’m your spirit animal. I represent your being. I think you’ll find it is you who has stubby legs.
OLIVER: I’m about average. If you’re my spirit animal, then what’s my mother’s name?
ALLIGATOR: Piarrrshesaaa.
OLIVER: That was your best guess?
ALLIGATOR: Well, I tried.
OLIVER: Not so good with human names, eh?
ALLIGATOR: I’m afraid not.
OLIVER: Does that spirit animal nonsense really work on people?
ALLIGATOR: You’d be surprised.
OLIVER: Well, here we are.
ALLIGATOR: Yes. I suppose you want a token of having defeated me. You may take a scale from my back.
OLIVER: Really?
ALLIGATOR: Yes. It is a standard alligator tradition.
OLIVER: Thanks!
ALLIGATOR: Just come over by the edge of the water and I shall let you take one.
OLIVER: Okay, now you’re trying to trick me again.
ALLIGATOR: Well, drat. I was so close.
OLIVER: Yeah, you almost got me there. Kudos to you.
ALLIGATOR: Would it have been more convincing if I’d told you I could grant wishes?
OLIVER: Maybe.
ALLIGATOR: I’ll remember that for next time.
OLIVER: Well, see you.
ALLIGATOR: Have a splendid day.
ALLIGATOR: Well, sparrows for dinner it is.
