Rodent Enthusiasts
JIMMY: Hey, Hal, nice place you got.
HAL: Thanks, Jimmy.
JIMMY: Oh man! You have got to be kidding me!
HAL: What’s up?
JIMMY: Is this a 2005 guinea pig?
HAL: Oh ho! A fellow classic rodent enthusiast?
JIMMY: You bet yer ass I am. I got an ‘09 Russian dwarf hamster in my garage.
HAL: Oh, man, hell of a rodent.
JIMMY: They sure don’t make ‘em like they used to. Is that four-paw steering?
HAL: It’s three. This baby’s seen some wear and tear over the years.
HAL: I hear you, man. My wife wanted me to buy a new one.
JIMMY: If there’s one thing the ladies don’t get, it’s mammals with prominent front incisors.
HAL: I know! She’d probably let it sit in the driveway.
JIMMY:…Where it could easily get picked off by a hawk or other large avian predator! I swear, my wife’s the same way. Couldn’t learn a thing about rodents if one bit her in the ass.
HAL: I caught mine feeding my ‘06 gerbil carrots the other day.
JIMMY: Come on, man! Everyone knows that carrots have very little nutritional value in a rodent’s diet!
HAL: I said, woman, Mr. Peanuts is only supposed to get premium fuel. Like dark lettuces.
JIMMY: Well, you wouldn’t believe my wife. She picked up some store brand hamster tubing.
HAL: Aw, I been there.
JIMMY: Yeah. She says, “Jimmy, why don’t it fit the Habitrail tubing?” Because Habitrail is the only one that makes Habitrail-size tubing!
HAL: You don’t have to tell me, Jimmy.
JIMMY: Ha ha.
HAL: Hey, you want to take her for a spin?
JIMMY: Is the capybara the largest species of rodent in the world?
HAL: Uhhh, YEAH.
JIMMY: Tch tch tch tch tch.
[THEY PLAY WITH THE GUINEA PIG]
