A Man Fails A Rorschach Test
DR. LEE: Okay, so I just want you to look at some of these ink blots and tell me what you see.
JACK: Okay.
DR. LEE: Here’s the first one.
JACK: I see….a person walking a dog.
DR. LEE: Okay. And this one?
JACK: Um…a rain cloud.
DR. LEE: Okay, this one?
JACK: It looks like…a car.
DR. LEE: A car? How do you figure?
JACK: Well, those are the wheels, and there’s the window.
DR. LEE: Huh. I always saw it as more of a bear. Those are the paws, and that’s the eye.
JACK: Hmm. I still think it looks like a car.
DR. LEE: I mean, I guess. Agree to disagree.
JACK: You know there are no right answers to a Rorschach test, right?
DR. LEE: Well, sure, but I mean, I have eyes.
JACK: Okay. I’d appreciate it if you didn’t give me your own interpretation, since it doesn’t really have anything to do with me.
DR. LEE: Sorry. I might be a psychiatrist, but I am also a person with human faults.
JACK: No, no. I’m sorry. Please continue.
DR. LEE: Okay. Next one.
JACK: It’s a street with people on it. Like a street fair.
DR. LEE: What? That’s clearly a swamp in the forest with will-o-the-wisps in it.
JACK: Okay, first of all, that’s your opinion. My opinion is that it’s a street. Secondly, nothing “clearly” looks like will-o-the-wisps. Tiny balls of light that lead travelers astray is ridiculously specific.
DR. LEE: Which is why they’re obviously will-o-the-wisps.
JACK: All right, fine.
DR. LEE:…
JACK: What are you writing down?
DR. LEE: I’m just writing down that you seem to be okay with making mistakes.
JACK: I’m not okay with making mistakes that I haven’t made! It’s a matter of opinion!
DR. LEE: Look, I’ll give you an example. What’s this one?
JACK: It could be like a cat catching a bird!
DR. LEE: See? That’s a Mogwai with a bow on its head, reading a fairy tale to a small child.
JACK: Okay, I’m out of here.
DR. LEE: It’s reading the Prince and the Pauper!
JACK: I’m not paying for this.
[JACK leaves]
DR. LEE: Your loss.
[DR. LEE takes out an ink well and starts to draw]
