Two Golden Retrievers and Their Pet
BALOO: Ohhhhhhh, look at that! Aw, you’re soo cute. Honey, come look at this. Our man thinks he’s dogs. Look at him on all fours! A boojiboojiboo! A boojiboojiboo! Look at you! Honey, get in here.
HONEY: Awwww, I wish we had one of those things that makes a picture of whatever’s going on at the time so we could look at this forever. Oh, someone’s getting licked on the face today. Who wants a lick on the face? YOU DO! YOU DO!
BALOO: Aw, look at him getting out the bag of food.
HONEY: I do kind of wish he’d stop bringing that stuff in the house.
BALOO: Well, Honey, it’s the thought that counts. Yes, someone’s being a sweetheart today. Are you sharing your giant bag of food? That’s a good man! Good boy! Good James!
HONEY:You’re encouraging him.
BALOO: Just pretend you like it. I don’t want to hurt his feelings.
HONEY: Do you think he really has feelings? Sometimes I just think he’s a little dum dum. Who’s my little dum dum?
BALOO: Who’s a dummy? WHO’S A DUMMY? Yes, rub my belly! Yeah, he doesn’t even react to those explosions that happen in the sky once a year. But sometimes I swear he knows what I’m thinking.
HONEY: I know! Like the other day when I wanted a piece of bacon, and I just barked at him, and he gave me one. It’s like he understood.
BALOO: It’s uncanny sometimes. Uh oh, someone wants to throw his chew toy! I’m going to get that! I’m going to get that chew toy!
HONEY: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Get back here, James!
BALOO: Oh God, I let him near the door. Come back, James!
HONEY: No! No! No!
BALOO: Oh God, oh God, oh God. I’ll yell at the neighbors that he ran off again. You try to get the door open.
HONEY: He could be anywhere.
[DOOR CREAKS OPEN]
BALOO: Oh, thank God. We were WORRIED SICK ABOUT YOU! Don’t EVER DO THAT AGAIN, JAMES! Bad man. Aw, come here. Yes, I forgive you. He looks so guilty.
HONEY: Don’t ever leave us! You could have been hit by a car!
BALOO: Aw, good boy. I can’t stay mad. You’re soooooo cute.
HONEY: Next time, we’re going to make him put those leashes around his wrists so he can’t get away from us.
BALOO: I wonder how you train them to not tug so much on their leashes?
HONEY: I don’t know. We’ll have to ask Mitzy down the street.
