Sam Moves Out
SAM: Morning, Will.
WILL: Good morning, cupcake!
SAM: Don’t call me that.
WILL: I made breakfast!
SAM: I’m moving out.
WILL: What? Why?
SAM: Honestly? I’m sick of you pushing your junk on me.
WILL: You loved my green eggs and ham!
SAM: Yeah, they were good. What wasn’t good was you hounding me for three hours about it.
WILL: Aw, come on, man! It wasn’t that bad.
SAM: You spent all of yesterday bludgeoning me with stupid scenarios about your food when I explicitly told you I didn’t want any. It has to end.
WILL: Would you stay if I made fish? If I put it in a —
SAM: Just stop. You’re embarrassing yourself.
WILL: Hey man, do you even hear yourself half the time? “I am Sam, Sam I am.” You think you’re SO SPECIAL just because you work at an indoor skydiving place.
SAM: It’s called iFly, okay? And I worked my ass off in training for that job! And I wouldn’t remind you so much about my name if you didn’t call me cupcake all the time, Will!
WILL: What if I —
SAM: Don’t. I bit my tongue when you poked me for two days until I went to Knotts Berry Farm with you, and when you kept me awake until we finished our Monopoly game. But enough is enough! I’m sorry. I’ve moved most of my stuff out. I’ll leave the mail key with the landlord.
SAM: Well…see you.
WILL: But I made —
[THE DOOR CLOSES]
WILL:…
WILL: I made it in a pan.
WILL: I made it with a…………
WILL: Flan.
WILL: I didn’t really make flan.
