An Awkward Conversation Between Racist Dragons
TIAMAT: Look, I’m not saying I don’t like ALL Chinese dragons, I’m just saying I’ve never wanted to show one my lair.
SCYLLA: But I still think that’s racist on some level.
TIAMAT: I don’t know. Maybe. But can you imagine being with…I mean, they have like…tiny arms.
SCYLLA: Oh my God, Tiamat, Jormungandr is going to send us to another tolerance seminar if you don’t keep it down.
TIAMAT: Ugh, if I have to sit through another Powerpoint presentation on how some of us have wings and some don’t, I’m going to have a fit. I still can’t believe Smaug got fired after calling Tien-Lung a princess.
SCYLLA: I know. I mean, sure, it’s super offensive, but let’s be honest. If Tien-Lung is going to pretend to be busy sorting treasure every time a knight shows up to challenge someone, he might as well put on a dress and start asking to be rescued.
TIAMAT: Haha, I know! [She puts her claws up to mimic antlers] “Oh, hello, Scylla. I can’t make it to the tournament this week because it’s Chinese New Year!”
TIEN-LUNG: Hi, ladies.
SCYLLA: Um, hi, Tien-Lung.
TIEN-LUNG: What are you…
TIAMAT: [frozen in her antler pose] Um, we were just…
TIEN-LUNG: Um. Maybe I should go.
SCYLLA: No! I mean…wait…you’re not…
TIEN-LUNG: I can tell I should just…
TIAMAT: You…um…we’re going to go pillage some towns tonight if you want to…
TIEN-LUNG: Oh. No…I mean…it IS Chinese New Year, so I have to be…you know.
SCYLLA: Oh. Okay.
TIAMAT: Cool.
TIEN-LUNG: See you.
SCYLLA: Okay.
TIAMAT: [sigh]
SCYLLA: We’re going to get fired.
TIAMAT: Yeah.
