My Dating Tips (1-100), In One Place for Easy Viewing
Brynna’s Dating Tips #1: Try going out with full zombie makeup on. It’s a great conversation starter!
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #2: Wear a wedding dress on your first date. Guys: Tuxedos! That way, you’ll never show up under-dressed again!
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #3: Apply the advertising “Rule of 7” to your dating life. Leave 7 voice mails on his phone. He’ll remember you!
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #4: Guys - Spot an attractive girl walking by herself? Grab her from behind as a joke. She’ll think it’s hilarious!
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #5: Can’t remember your date’s name? Try Candy. What about Shaniqua? No? Well, she’s probably not worth it.
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #6: At the beginning of a date, let her know you’ve already paid for condoms. She’ll think you’re chivalrous!
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #7: Looking for a gift to bring your date? Get her a puppy! Pick a used one up at a shelter. Savings!
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #8: On a second date, tell her she looks much better this time.
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #9: Be unique! Instead of a movie, show her that really cool abandoned warehouse.
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #10: Want to really make her swoon? Try tipping a dozen roses with chloroform. She’ll be in your arms in no time!
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #11: Turn a negative into a positive. If she says no, it means yes, but only if you add something fun to my drink!
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #12: Girls - Play hard to get. Don’t let him do anal until the second date.
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #13: See a hot girl driving in front of you? Try a fender bender. She’ll give you her phone number
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #14: A wingman can be useful. Have him rape your future girl in an alleyway. You’ll look fantastic by comparison!
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #15: Sassy girlfriend? Don’t hit her in public! Save it for when you get home. She’ll love your sense of discretion.
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #16: Bet your date $1 you can make her boobs move without touching them. Then grab her boobs and hand her $1! Magic!
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #17: Taking her back to your place? Make her feel secure. Lock the windows and bolt the door as soon as she comes in.
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #18: If you punch her in the face, she won’t remember you called her by the wrong name. Problem solved.
Brynna’s Dating Tips - # 19: Get to know your date! Construct a hide across from her house: http://tinyurl.com/dg9wzt Patience is key!
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #20: Did you commit the #1 dating faux pas? A meat locker is a great place to store a body!
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #21: Be confident! Don’t let a lady’s boyfriend deter you from sitting down next to her at a restaurant.
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #22: Two things girls love: guys who can cook and metaphors! Go to your local butcher and pick her up a cow’s heart.
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #23: Take her to a nice view. A great “make-out” place can double as a great “body-dumping” place if things go awry!
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #24: Women love stuffed animals. Pick one up at your local taxidermist’s!
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #25: Many animals use scent to attract a mate. Try marking her with your urine. Flared nostrils means she likes you!
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #26: Dating can be risky these days. Reassure her when you meet her that you don’t have crabs.
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #27: Is your date reluctant to make love? Give her confidence by getting naked as soon as you walk in your door.
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #28: Want to meet someone who understands you? Try meeting someone at a family reunion. Guaranteed common ground!
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #29: Many of my readers ask: when is it okay to date rape? Listen, there’s a time for that. It’s called “after prom.”
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #30: Be confident. If he makes eye contact, it means he wants you to come grab his junk. Same for women and boobs!
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #31: Need a topic of conversation? Try one of these: bus routes, your taxidermy collection, interesting moles!
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #32: Awkward silence? Remember: location, location, location. She’ll love your riveting knowledge of Franklin Ave.
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #33: Most guys order a drink for a nice looking lady. Be unique! Send her a nice 72oz steak with 2lbs of fries.
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #34:Is your smoking habit a problem for her? Put nicotine patches on her steak, chicken, or fish. She’ll come around!
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #35: Screw someone under 18? Girls, like a good wine, can be stored in the garage until they’ve aged properly.
Brynna’s Dating Tips -#36:Drinking might help you loosen up during a date, but too much means you can’t overpower her later. Make it virgin.
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #37: Tired of finding dates in the bar scene? An underground parking garage is a great place to meet the ladies.
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #38: Having a messy breakup? Use bleach! Don’t forget to wear gloves!
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #39: Want to make love in your car? Get tinted windows to set the mood. Child safety locks are also your friend!
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #40: Feeling self-conscious about some pre-date acne? Wear a ski-mask to your date! It adds an air of mystery.
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #41: Apply economic advice to your dating life! Window shop before you buy. Start in your apartment complex.
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #42: How long should you wait before you call her? Ask her for a calendar of her cycle so you can plan ahead!
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #43: Want to compliment her? Tell her she would look nice with breast enhancement. Everybody wins!
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #44: Is she in the mood? Goosebumps, dilated pupils, and not locking her car door are all signs she’s interested!
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #45: Want to try a threesome but afraid to ask? Girls use the restroom in pairs. Just lock the door and go to town!
Brynna’s Dating Tips -#46:Sleep with her and can’t remember her name? Try the window. You don’t even have to explain that rash on your dong!
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #47: Girls, like Schrodinger’s cat, remain both pregnant and not pregnant as long as you never open that box.
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #48: Flowers are gifts with meaning. A red rose means love, white means purity, and with roots attached means thrift!
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #49: The gym is a great place to meet women who will fight back!
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #50: Did you know that chemicals mix slowly when cold? When mixing a drink for your lady, add roofies before ice!
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #51: Don’t forget music! Stevie Wonder may be sexy, but put on some Lamb of God and you’ll never hear her say “no.”
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #52: Have trouble remembering names the next day? Plan ahead! Tattoo her name on yourself as soon as you meet her.
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #53: Has he called you back? If a week passes, go to his house to make sure he’s okay. Back doors are often unlocked!
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #54: Want to make her feel special? Shave her name into your back hair. She’ll love your thoughtfulness!
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #55: Small talk is difficult. Skip it! Go straight to oral sex in the bar. Girls love a guy who is direct!
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #56: Looking for a secluded place to make love? Try under a freeway!
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #57: Wear a skirt and grabbable hairstyle and take a night stroll! A new man will sweep you off your feet in no time!
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #58: Camping is a great activity. She’ll find alone time nice, and the injuries you inflict can be blamed on bears!
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #59: On a lunch date? Bring a flask of vodka to make her soda a little more fun when she’s not looking!
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #60: Worried about getting her pregnant? Plan ahead! Get a blueprint of her house to plan an emergency escape route.
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #61: Girlfriend hotter than you? Keep her out of the dating pool! Mix lard (or shortening - vegans!) into her meals.
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #62:Animals use pheremones to attract a mate. Cover yourself in fox musk. She’ll love it, and it also repels gophers!
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #63: Always keep the basics for a romantic night on hand: condoms, sensual oils, duct tape, candles, and a shovel.
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #64: Looking for a unique gift for your lady? Give her a haircut when she’s asleep. She’ll be so surprised!
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #65: Want to date a hot coworker? Tell your boss your date’s been stealing. One pink slip later, and she’s fair game!
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #66: See a date at a rest stop? Slash a tire. She’ll eventually pull over. Time to work your magic!
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #67: Looking for someone open to new suggestions in bed? Check out your local cult!
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #68: Eye contact, smiling, and a firm handshake are helpful tools when claiming you don’t have herpes.
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #69: Worried that your date won’t call you back? Poke tiny holes in your condoms. She’ll keep in touch!
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #70: Have a cold and a germaphobic date? Nyquil works wonders. Just slip some in her drink!
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #71: Craigslist is a great tool for dating. Post your home address and leave your front door unlocked for Mr. Right!
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #72: On a first date? Set up an appointment in advance for her at your local abortion clinic. She’ll thank you later!
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #73: Dating a mom? Bring some fireworks. They will drown out the sound of lovemaking and keep the child entertained!
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #74:Turn your eating disorder into a “dating” disorder! Men love women with an appetite. Shovel that food down!
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #75: Women love gifts! Have unprotected sex with her when she sleeps. 6 weeks later, she’ll be pleasantly surprised!
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #76: Strip-o-grams aren’t just for bachelorette parties anymore. Send one as a thank you for a great first date!
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #77: Starting an affair? Find an illegal immigrant. Desperation is sexy, and if she talks, you can have her deported!
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #78: Is your lady upset with you? Let her know you care about her problems by dropping off some tampons and Midol.
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #79: Meeting her parents? Compliment Mom, shake Dad’s hand, and offer to pick your date up after the PSATs for them.
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #80: Ladies: Nobody likes a smart woman! Turn your thinker into a thanker. Blow jobs require no speaking at all!
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #81: Invest in a teddy bear camera. She’ll love the plush fur; you’ll love its record of your most private moments!
Brynna’s dating Tips - #82: Dirty talk guaranteed to turn him on: “Give it to me,” “Keep going,” “Please don’t kill me; I have a family.”
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #83:Afraid you’re boring your man? Show him your boobs! He’ll forget all about your cat Muffin and her misadventures.
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #84: Want to spice things up in the bedroom for her birthday? Over-guess her age and hold on for a wild ride!
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #85: Spice things up in the bedroom. Play doctor! She won’t even notice that kidney is missing until later.
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #86: Women love surprise getaways! Put her in the trunk of your car and drive to an undisclosed location.
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #87: Help your man increase his stamina in bed! When you think he’s almost finished, ask him how his mother is doing.
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #88: Men - make passes at girls who wear glasses. Poor vision means she won’t notice that cold sore!
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #89: Women love confidence! Build your self-esteem by going to the gym, getting a new haircut, or beating up a hobo.
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #90: Having trouble getting pregnant? Pick up a baby at your local mall. 1 unattended stroller = 9 months saved!
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #91: Dating a feminist? Offer her an exchange: you give her dinner, she gives you a blow job. Equality!
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #92: Proud of your sexual prowess? Keep video clips of your past endeavors handy to show your new date you’re a stud!
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #93: Jewelry is a great way to say, “No, I didn’t cheat on you with the Asian cleaning lady on our couch 3 times.”
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #94: Get in shape for your lady! Some great aerobic exercises include swimming, hiking, and running from rival gangs.
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #95:Keep yourself looking sharp after first date mishaps! Use peroxide to remove red wine, lipstick, or blood stains.
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #96: Cheap sex toys can be hard to find. Did you know that your roommate’s electric toothbrush doubles as a vibrator?
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #97:Match interests! Find jocks at the gym, nerds at the library, and Disney enthusiasts at your local middle school.
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #98: Women love a man who gives her confidence! Tell her she’ll definitely defeat the crabs you gave her.
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #99: Women love a man with a mysterious past. Try scarring your face. Her imagination will fill in the rest!
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #100:Tired of looking for men in bars? Try looking behind bars! Visit your local prison for your new Mr. Right.
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #101: Women are natural caretakers. Try breaking your legs. The ladies will be all over you in no time!
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #102: Women love surprises. Don’t show up at her front door! Hide in her closet until it’s time for your first date.
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #103: Give your roommates fair warning when bringing a date home. Describe exactly what you plan on doing. Be specific!
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #104: Need first date conversation material? Compile a list of your cats and their unique behaviors. Be specific!
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #105:Christmas time! Give her a photo album of her doing all her favorite things. Don’t forget to introduce yourself!
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #106:Mirroring makes a date feel comfortable and connected to you. Wear the same dress she’s wearing. She’ll love it!
Brynna’s Dating Tips - #107: Don’t drop the f-bomb too soon in a relationship. You can tell her about your fiancee after you’ve fucked.
Brynna’s Dating Tips-#108:Play doctor! Remove her clothing. Ask her where it hurts. Tell her she has meningitis. Don’t forget to quarantine!
